I have no patience...none..zero..nada..

Sometimes I feel that I am a vulcano that is on the edge of exploding every second and when I am like that nothing can make me hold it in..although I acknowledge the state of mind, I haven't got the strength to controll it..hopefully yet..

..can you teach me your patience..
...can you give me some hints on how you can say nothing when there's a soulstorm inside..
...on how you can keep smiling when the torment inside makes you scream...
..on how you can smoke your cigarette and talk of nothing while inside there're so many questions...
..on how you can pretend to be ok but have running tears inside..
...on how to wait for the decision of your future patiently, when I can't do anything but think of the repercussions of that decision...
...on how to read and learn anything when all I can think is the end of a big chapter and the "bright" beginning of another...

..I want to learn patience...